Why?

Ok, I fall among those who enjoy the rants of comic Steven Wright. To think out side the box -ha ha - is a little out their, and I love it. I think my thinking nearly committed my sister when we were younger. We would be on a long drive and I would talk about the theory of space growing, and asking how one would know when they reached the end of space due to Einstein’s theory that you would just wrap around and eventually end up where you started. Was there a wall that you would find? If you hit a wall, all walls have 2 sides right? What is on the other side of the wall - Something right, so space continues, not stops there. Mind you I was 6 or 7 when I was bothering her with this.

Steven has a way to see the same thing:

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
What's another word for Thesaurus?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? "She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose

OTHER DISPATCHERS TAKE NOTE:
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

ENGLISH MAJORS:
Why isn't the word, 'phonetically' spelled with an ' f '?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

TRUE STORY:
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I'm at Sea World at a seafood restaurant. I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Gosh.. .. .. I could be eating a slow learner.

I was born by Cesarean section. But not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

Trees that grow in smoggy cities are needed to make carbon paper.

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

Ok, Thank you Steven for thinking out side of the box, and making some of the others just start to think. Last thought for Geeks "There are 10 types of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t"
- TVG

People Who Talk In Circles..

I hate it when people talk around in circles. I keep wondering how these people function! I received a call on our business line of some one having heard shots fired one fine evening, the caller reported that it sounded like it was a few blocks away, large caliber nothing further. So then we back up to square one, where are you, stated more like
"What is the address you are calling from?"
The response was "My apartment"
"What is the address of your apartment?"
"214"
"214 what?"
"apartment 214"
"what is your street address?"
"ummmmmmmm"
"what street are you on?"
ok I can see from this line of questioning that we were getting nowhere fast. Soooooo
"if some one were to send you a letter where would they send it?"
"Oh, I have a PO Box"
- Ever have one of those days that you just want to hang up and just go home. so with every ounce of strength I resist banging my head on the console and ask "does your building have a name like the Smith apt?"
"Oh, Yah the ABC towers"
Thank Heavens a location that we can work with. "Where did you hear the shots being fired?"
"Outside"
Resist the head banging - RESIST THE HEAD BANGING "What direction out side?"
"Out the Back."
"Do you know if that is north, South, East, or West? - Never mind toward what streets were the shots fired."
from that point the caller was able to give lat/lon coordinates, elevation, wind speed and how many birds flew to the NNW at 18 knots from the sound of the shots.
When the call was concluded, dispatched and resolved as a car being worked on and having backfired, I just looked at the phone console and mouthed "Why Me?" Then the phone rang again, No one was on the line, it think it was fate just taunting me.
Granted a great deal has been edited here for length and such, however I hope you get the idea.
I love my job, I love my job, I love my Job.
- TheVoice

Site Meters, a Voyeur's Voyeur?

What an idea, back track the people who are tracking you and your thoughts! I have to Laugh! HA! Is it necessary? it is kind of a voyeur’s voyeur, (lets see how many hits the word Voyeur gets). What are your thoughts on site meters? Till next time - TVG

Out and about

Biking seams to have taken us by storm this year. After the first ride wounded muscles mended quickly and it is off and running again. It was funny, as we were out on the trail we passed several common spots of our former hobby of dog mushing. We would pass a trail and say "So that is what it looks like in the summer." Normally we are running past it at 20 - 25 Mph on the runners of a dog sled, or going much slower while actually running with the team. Nun the less we are not looking at the surroundings other than to make sure a moose in not stepping out on the trail. On the bike it was a much more relaxed jont through the woods. We did not see any wild life other than a bird or two, However I did get a shot of a sign, "WARNING - You are traveling in Bear country"

Can you tell what kind of bear left a pile behind? Sure, here is the trick, Black Bears leave berries, and Grizzly (Brown) Bears leave piles with little bells in it from the hikers the have eaten. Their is food for thought...

- The Voice

Are we their yet?

Have you ever noticed.. Normaly I dislike this as an opening statement, as you sit back and think: You are looking for common ground to talk to me about, If I say yes then we can be friends, if I say no then you get to emite your supirior knolege to me and explain what I have been missing. Their is no way out of this kind of a questing unless you are good at faking heart problems. With that said:
Have you ever noticed that going some where you want to go, or leading out on an expidition of the unknown is always more fun then leving the adventure? My Wife and I went on a great bike ride this past week, on a path that we have not been on till that day. We were rideing along having a wonderfull time, then we hit the half way point. Crap, we have gone quite a distance, we are only half way back right now. Then as we are treversing the trail back to the starting point the question comes up: "Are we their yet". Okay, Look you were with me when we started right? An ailien did not jump out of your skin and then then get replaced by another one hiding behind the tree we passed a ways back right? Does this look like we are their yet? It took us 2 hrs to get here, now we are only 5 min into the ride to get us back to the start." Of course all of this is thought with a smile, as I have become wiser to actually SAY any of this. Why is it that going is more fun than getting back? Now mind you their are a few exciptions to this: 1) the dentist 2)the Proctologist 3)the mechanic 4)your friendly OBGYN. Get the idea? Needless to say the line of "We are a little more than half way back" seamed to stiffle too many more Are We Their yet questions and insted transfered them back to the both of us going we need to get into shape to be able to get into shape! All in All it was a fun ride, we know a few areas to avoid now, and will i am sure enjoy the rides in the future. - TV

Twist your eyes...

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, itdeosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsatltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a totalmses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihsis bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteterby istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?

You laugh? This is what my wife gets to proof read for me :-) - TV

Another Hand or Mind.

There are times when it seams that their is too much to do and not enough time to do it in. I took a moment today and quickly counted off the irons that I had in the fire at that moment. Without thinking too hard I was able to come up with 9 things that I was actively working on, that moment. That was not to include listening to the three conversations going on around me. It seams crazy, like life is just screaming by, however remember this was a Sunday and I was not at the office. To me this was CALM, and I actually had time to sit back and count that I was working on. Is it odd when one feels that sensory deprivation is only having 5 things going on at once? Perhaps today’s title does not match my dribble today, let me redirect you to the last sentence of the last post, and I will add, "Eat your Pudding!" - TV

Seclusion Abandoned,

I was hesitant about posting as I am a creature who likes to live in an anonymous status. However here we go. As this is titled it will be ransom thoughts, just what ever is on my mind. The A-ADHD, we will leave for the people in the know. If you use some of the gray matter that was given you and if you watch TV in these years you can probably figure it out. I will ease in to this and just add thoughts when I feel in the mood. So there, (insert favorite saying here) Mine is "Deal With It." - TVG